D (displacency) wrote,

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. . .

I can't even think, anymore, without having thoughts about, that certain subject. I suppose it would do me good to just, get over it.. But I can't. It was my own decision, to do it.. And I have to own up and face the consequences. I need to stop whining about it, I suppose..

Perhaps he's right. Perhaps I should stop feeling sorry for myself. But I can't. I haven't had a bad life, I know.. But it hasn't been the easiest, either.

I suppose it was my own doing.. Everyone thinking I'm a slut, now, is because of the way I acted in the past. I did that on my own, as well.

I can't even, think, right now. My mind is so fried, and I've been crying so long, that I don't even remember what brought it on.

I started thinking about dying again, tonight. It might be the best thing for myself. I don't know if that makes sense, but sometimes I feel like, I'm so alone in this world. And nothing goes my way.. Nothing goes for me. Everything that happens, happens for a reason, right? Well, perhaps the reason that everything happened to me, was to show me, that I'm not meant for this world.

That makes no sense.. But fuck it. It's my journal. I don't care anymore.

I'm not even able to complete a thought, tonight..

I give up. I'll try again later...

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