In one aspect, life is wonderful.
But that's the only one.
I've decided people are fucking pitiful.
And sometimes I'd like to shoot them in the head, but from now on, I'm just avoiding it all. I'll work, wait for him, and try not to blow my brains all over the wall.
I haven't felt this low in so long. I haven't wanted to end it in so long. I'd like to just cut the shit out of myself, but I don't know if it'd be smart. I'd like to be able to do it without people questioning it. If I want to hurt myself, and it makes me feel better, it should not be an issue of concern with anyone else.. besides maybe him. But that's totally different. I appreciate every opinion he gives me, and every kind word he gives me..
I feel like crying, but I don't think I will.
I'm giving up everything. Besides the one mentioned above. I can't fucking handle this shit anymore. I've been through too much of it, before.. And it's almost killed me, before. I don't want to die, but it sometimes seems like the only smart solution to any of this.
I just want it to either be over, or have a new beginning. Fuck it.